By Chia Chia Cheng, L.Ac., Dip. OM, CNFM
Hello, Friend!
Recently a patient asked me, “Why do I feel my grief so much deeper this time of year?”
I didn’t have a good explanation. I offered her this perspective.
“There are many reasons. Just allow yourself to feel the grief. It can be a way of connecting with the person you are missing.”
Thanksgiving and the holiday season can be an excruciating 6 weeks of loss and sadness for many. It’s supposed to be a time of joy.
If you have lost a loved one, especially around this time of year, grief is an emotion you may suffer in silence. I hope this isn’t the case for you. I hope you have community. I hope you have people that you can share openly how you’re missing that person. Our culture doesn’t make room for reliving illness and tragedy.
Back in September I wrote about the sudden death of a young man whom I briefly knew. These words came to me as I paddled one morning in late September. May they bring you comfort during this holiday season.
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Breath By Breath
I knew that one day I’d have to say goodbye but I never wanted it to happen, not like this
It was so sudden, too soon, all faded to black– You took your last breath and left me with a kiss
People use the word tragedy to name the hole I feel in my being
Words are descriptively shallow for the hollow I feel creeping in
Life offers no guarantee despite my best efforts, these times are made of uncertainty
Counting the days that keep rolling by I refuse to accept you’re not coming home to me
All I want is to see you smile, touch your face, feel the warmth of your embrace
Surrounded by memories of you, the weight of my loss rises to the surface
One less hug a day, one less good morning, One less “Later, Mom”, one less of everything
As I gather your favorite things I feel you are still here and remain a part of me
I fight to take each labored breath, consumed by my silent grief
I want so badly to hold you close and have you safe with me
I have loved you fiercely with all my heart from the moment you first drew breath
I’m sure I’ve made human mistakes, yet, in loving you I did my daily best
No matter how many moons have passed or how many seasons come and go
I will go on loving you beyond my last breath– my devotion to you is solid gold
Just as the tide returns to the rolling sea
I love you, son
I’ll hold you near…I’ll remember you eternally
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Thank you for being. Take good care of yourself.
Be well. Stay connected.
